night and day

days consisting of persuasions. i can do that, i can do this, i will, i won't. waking up i choose to tell the same words like a prayer. i know, what i want most is not to appear, disappearance as a means to live. i want to be anonymous, not belonging, be here now, be there later. i hate to talk and loathe to listen.  the taste of teardrops never change and i've stopped measuring distances with a ruler. writing is such a bore so i