Çarşamba, Eylül 29

were you tired of laughter were you bored of the pain is the bond now broken does nothing remain shoulder to shoulder like two stones in a bag did you rub one another until there was nothing but dust

log

coco says:
simart beni
onor bumbum says:
sev ki sımartiyim
coco says:
simart ki seviyim
onor bumbum says:
hehe bunu diiceni bildiimi bilio muydun
coco says:
bunu diicemi bildiini bildiimi bilio muydun
onor bumbum says:
oyun gibi olalım, sen benim cevabım ol
coco says:
tamam
onor bumbum says:
yorgun musun diilsen
coco says:
ne yapicagina bagli yorgunlugum
onor bumbum says:
ay yok sen benı bugun sevmiyosun
coco says:
yo bugun cok seviyorum oysaki

......
coco says:
diiliiim diiiilim

Salı, Eylül 28

if love is a red dress hang me in rags

insan hakkındakı yanlış anlamaların toplamıdır. enis batur.
bugün sizi güldüren yarın sizi öldürebilir de. proudhon.


yaaa. yaaaa.
i can fly
but i want his wings
i can shine
even in the darkness
but i crave the light that he brings
revel in the songs that he sings
my angel gabriel
i can love
but i need his heart
i am strong even on my own
but from him i never want to part
he's been there since the very start
my angel gabriel
bless the day he came to be
angel's wings carried him to me
heavenly

i can fly

Pazar, Eylül 26

many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. what then kills love? only this: neglect. not to see you when you stand before me. not to think of you in the little things. not to make the road wide for you, the table spread for you. to choose you out of habit not desire, to pass the flower seller without a thought. to leave the dishes unwashed, the bed unmade, to ignore you in the mornings, make use of you at night. to crave another while pecking your cheek. to say your name without hearing it, to assume it is mine to call. // written on the body

bumbumbum

good times for a change
see, the luck i've had
can make a good man turn bad
so please please please let me, let me, let me
let me get what i want
this time

haven't had a dream in a long time
see, the life i've had
can make a good man bad

so for once in my life
let me get what i want
lord knows, it would be the first time


I never doubted it what’s for you will not pass you by i never questioned it it was decided before i asked why

Cuma, Eylül 24

f f f f

and

is that how you tell us apart
i fool myself to sleep and dream
nobody's there no-one but me
so cool you're hardly there
why can't this be killing you
frankenstein would want your mind
your lovely head

song of the day

change your heart, look around you
change your heart, it will astound you
i need your loving like the sunshine
and everybody's gotta learn sometime

Perşembe, Eylül 23

2 tane nurtopu gibi aftım oldu. biri dilimde biri yanağımda.
stresten mi yorgunluktan mı vitaminsizlikten mi d şıkkı hepsinden mi
zorlu'mun muhteşem hediyesine bugün kavuştum.
sabahın köründen beri uyanık ve bitik.

so tired and happy
cause there are
no alarms and no surprises
silence


Çarşamba, Eylül 22

it doesnt matter anymore
drying up in conversation, you will be the one who cannot talk all your insides fall to pieces, you just sit there wishing you could still make love they're the ones who'll hate you when you think you've got the world all sussed out they're the ones who'll spit at you, you will be the one screaming out don't leave me high, don't leave me dry don't leave me high, don't leave me dry it's the best thing that you ever had, the best thing that you ever, ever had it's the best thing that you ever had, the best thing you ever had has gone away

Pazartesi, Eylül 20

yeah sure, i'll be in unless i'm out don't knock if the lights are out or you hear voices or then i might be reading proust if someone slips proust under my door or one of his bones for my stew, and i can't loan money or the phone or what's left of my car though you can have yesterday's newspaper an old shirt or a bologna sandwich or sleep on the couch if you don't scream at night and you can talk about yourself that's only normal; hard times are upon us all only i am not trying to raise a family to send through harvard or buy hunting land, i am not aiming high i am only trying to keep myself alive just a little longer, so if you sometimes knock and i don't answer and there isn't a woman in here maybe i have broken my jaw and am looking for wire or i am chasing the butterflies in my wallpaper, i mean if i don't answer i don't answer, and the reason is that i am not yet ready to kill you or love you, or even accept you, it means i don't want to talk i am busy, i am mad, i am glad or maybe i'm stringing up a rope; so even if the lights are on and you hear sound like breathing or praying or singing a radio or the roll of dice or typing - go away, it is not the day the night, the hour; it is not the ignorance of impoliteness, i wish to hurt nothing, not even a bug but sometimes i gather evidence of a kind that takes some sorting, and your blue eyes, be they blue and your hair, if you have some or your mind - they cannot enter until the rope is cut or knotted or until i have shaven into new mirrors, until the world is stopped or opened forever. - bukowski
evet tabii, dışarda değilsem evdeyimdir, çalayım deme kapıyı ışıklar yanmıyorsa yada sesler geliyorsa, belki proust okuyorumdur eğer biri proust u yada kemiklerinden birini güvecim için kapımın altından atmışsa, sana ödünç para veremem veya gelip açamazsın birine telefon, alamazsın arabamdan arta kalanları ama ısrar edersen dünkü gazeteyi eski bir gömleği veya sandvicimi verebilirim yada uyuyabilirsin kanepemde gece bağırmadığın sürece ve anlatabilirsin kendini - bu çok doğal, kötü günler kapımızda ama ben çoluk çocuğa karışmak büyütüp harvardlarda okutmak veya boş bir arazi satın almak istemiyorum öyle yükseklerde değil gözüm biraz daha fazla hayatta kalabilmek tek niyetiim, bu yüzden eğer çalarsan kapımı ve ben açmazsam belki içerde bir kadın yoktur da çenemi kırmışımdır bağlayacak bir tel arıyorumdur veya kovalıyorumdur duvarkağıdımı süsleyen kelebekleri, yani demek istediğim eğer açmıyorsam açmıyorumdur, sebebiyse seni öldürmeye veya sevmeye ve hatta kabullenmeye henüz hazır olmamamdır, demek ki konuşmak istemiyorum, işim var, delirmişim, muhteşemim yada belki bir ip hazırlıyorum, bu yüzden ışıklar açık olsa bile ve bir soluk, dua, şarkı, radyo, zar, daktilo sesi duysan da çek git, günü değil gecesi değil, saati hiç değil, kabalığın verdiği cehalet değil, hiçbir şeyi incitmek istemem bir böceği bile ama bazen düzene sokmam gereken gerçekler biriktiriyorum ve mavi gözlerin, mavilerse eğer ve saçların, eğer varsa iki tel veya aklın - ip kesilip düğümlenene dek veya ben yeni aynalarda traş olana dek, dünya durana yada ebediyen açılana dek giremezler içeri. - bukowski + didem

the bad seed

i fall to sleep in the summer rain with no single memory of pain and you might think i'm crazy
but...

Pazar, Eylül 19

Cumartesi, Eylül 18

translation strategies

please, my sweet ipsitilla
my delights, my charms,
command to you i should come at noon
and if you command, it would be of help
nobody of the threshold if would close the door panel
nor to you it might be pleasing outside to walk off
but at home you would stay, you would prepare also for us
nine continuous fuckifications
well then, if anything you will do, at once order me
for stuffed i lie and satiated on my back
i thrust through tunic and pallim too

catullus 32
aynaya baktığımda bütün günü yüzüme yapışmış buldum.
bedensel ve zihinsel yorgunluğum, yaşadığımı hissettirdi.
13 saat sonunda iş yerini terk edebildiğimde her şey ve hiçbir şey istedim.
dışarı çıkmak, yemek yemek, alkol, özgülle film, cihanla douche, bernayla şarap, zeyneble dedikodu,,,eve gitmek, yemek yememek, su içmek, özgülsüz film, cihansız duş, şarapsız berna, dedikodusuz zeynepsiz. arabayı park ederken gaza basıp gitme isteğiyle karışık bir kararsızlık, kendini kandırma filan.
sonuç: kestaneli cartdor güzel bir ürünmüş, yaklaşık 35 kişiye sözlü sınav, ve 200 kağıt değerlendirme, 3 saat gözetmenlik ve 1,5 saat not yeniden kontrolünden sonra en çok ağrıyan yerim sırtım, en güzel yerim boyası akmış gözlerim ve dağılmış saçlarım, en duran yerim beynim.
en `en`se:
menü: sade gözleme / plain observation


Cuma, Eylül 17

'görünüşte su, ateşten üstündür...
fakat ikisinin arasına bir tencere girdi mi
ateş o suyu kaynatır, buharlaştırır, yok eder.
görünüşte su nasıl ateşten üstünse,
sen de kadından üstünsün;
fakat hakikatte ona mağlupsun,
onu istemektesin.' - mevlana

Pazartesi, Eylül 13

everything in its right place.

ne kadar bilirsen bil, söylediklerin karşındakinin anlayabildiği kadardır. - mevlana


but i believe in love//and i know that you do too//and i believe in some kind of path//that we can walk down me and you//so keep your candles burning//make a journey bright and pure//
that you'll keep returning always and evermore//into my arms, oh lord...
yara ile bir bağlantısı olmalı yaratmanın

[yara]tmak


Pazar, Eylül 12

"for now we shall see through a glass darkly, but then face to face.
now i know in part; then i shall understand fully, even as i
have been fully understood."
i cor. xiii, 12-13

Salı, Eylül 7

you know everything will flow

it finally happened.

cheers darlin'
here's to you and your lover...

what am i darlin'?
a whisper in your ear?
a piece of your cake?
what am i, darlin'?
the girl you can fear?
or your biggest mistake?


-garip.

Pazartesi, Eylül 6

the glass isnt half full or half empty. it is inbetween.
i'm under my willow crying my sad song for you
my willow a place i need when i'm not in the mood

Pazar, Eylül 5

pleasure is all mine



- do you still have my eye-glasses?
- no, i traded them.
- you traded them?
- you have any tobacco?
- no. i traded.
- for what?
- i'm not telling.
- liar.
- thief.

Cumartesi, Eylül 4

milk it
wishwishwish

'My nerves are bad t-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
I never know what you are thinking. Think.'


A Game of Chess - Thomas Stearns Eliot

to whom it may concern

my friends are so depressed
i feel the question of your loneliness
confide... `cause i'll be on your side
you know i will, you know i will
x girlfriend called me up alone
and desperate on the prison phone
they want... to give her 7 years
for being sad
i love all of you
hurt by the cold
so hard and lonely too
when you don't know yourself

Çarşamba, Eylül 1