"Şiirin içine edeyim,"
demişti Rimbaud ömrünün sonunda.
"Şiir önemli değil,"
der bir dizesi Eliot'ın.
Ve Larkin: "Neden yazamıyorsun?
Sen de benim gibi
edebiyatın ne kadar önemsiz
olduğunu mu kavradın yoksa?"

"Yazmadan yaşayamam," diyor
karıştırdığım bir dergide
gözlüklü şişman bir budala:
"Ya şiir ya ölüm."

Marketten getirdiğim torbaları
boşaltıyorum mutfakta.
Dışarıda tanıdık boz sincap
bahçeye gömüyor fındıklarını,
daha kaç ay yaşayacağını
merak etmeden hiç;
çiçekler saksılarında duruyor,
Kuzey Denizi'ne doğru
kayıyor yavaşça bulutlar.
Her şey tam, kararlı, dingin
ve ötesinde sözcüklerimizin.

ş.a.

Susku altın tozlu bir cevap sende
Acı vermek mi istiyorsun, gizemi
Sürdürmek mi?
Gümüş bir kaptan su içip
Seni düşünüyorum
Senin altın tozlu suskunu.

Bırak barok bir Mevlevi
Uzaydan dönerek insin kalbine
Bırak herşey herşey
Eriyip gitsin
Ağızdan pastel gibi başını da öne eğsin
Doğulu musun batılı mısın nesin?
Yoksa bölünmüş bir kişilik misin?
Yok gibisin, benim yok-sevgilim
Yoksa başka bir gezegenden mi
Geldin
Benimle uyu kanatlarımız
Birbirine değsin
Yok istediğim başka hiçbir şey
Bu esrarengiz loşlukta.

l.m.

Kumların ortasında tek bir palmiye.

Ne kendime benzeteceğim onu,

Ne de ortasında yer aldığı kumu

Başka bir şeye

Ne çöldeyim artık,
Ne de içimde ses var.

Çölde kendime benzetemeyeceğim şeyler var.
Çölü çöl olarak öylece

Çöl gibi sevmiştim.

Ne kumların arasında tek bir palmiye

Ne de tek bir palmiyenin ortasında yer aldığı
kum olmak istemiştim.

a.g.

Seni bir boşluğa attım
gövdemi başka gövdeler bilmeyecek artık
boşluk sesi ol.
hoşluk sesi ol.

sonra dönüp üz beni.

b.keskin.

Foreplay does nothing for me, but commitment makes me wet.

ultraviolent

you could be from venus
i could be from mars
we would be together
lovers forever
care for each other

"Birinin" giysileri için de ona karşı hissettiğin tutkuyu hissedebilmek.
Siz hiç "birinin" gömleğini öptünüz mü?
Ben öptüm.

the touch of your lips upon my brow, your lips that are cool and sweet, such tenderness lies in their soft caress, my heart forgets to beat.
the touch of your hands upon my head, the love in your eyes a-shine, and now, at last, that moment divine,
the touch of your lips on mine.
the love in your eyes, the touch of your lips on mine.

more tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones

Eric told me: Something that is getting your attention deserves your attention, which i say only as a means of allaying any anxiety about not doing what you are supposed to be doing because you are so busy doing what you want to be doing. Save your energy. People go to therapy for 10 years to learn how to get distracted in this particular way.

Birbirlerine yüzlerce yeni ad vereceklerdir,
Ve hepsini yeniden alacaklardır birbirlerinden,
Yavaşça,
Küpe çıkarır gibi.

Rilke.

The vital thing is time. It is the fundamental problem of life, around which all metaphysical speculation ought to turn. Time as a notation, as a measurement, is valueless, an artificial invention. The important thing is the becoming, the dynamism. Some arts use time more than others. Painting, sculpture, present a more or less static object. Poetry and music, the cinema, a fluidity absolutely reliant on time for effect. The miracle of photography, challenging time, fixing. Death is simply not becoming, a loss of fluidity. The loss of element of presence. Death kills time and enthrones, enhances place. Life is the gift of consciousness of time. A gift which, once it has been given, cannot be rejected. Awareness is becoming. There is a continual awareness of presence.Could death punish by stopping enjoyment and awareness, which are the benefits of time, and reward by changing time? Awareness can give our highest imagined happiness. We cannot imagine timelessness and unawareness as a higher happiness, since they are conceptions related to our present condition. Given the gifts of awareness of time, it is futile to pursue timelessness, like the mystics. The gift of awareness must be fully enjoyed, since it is the highest potential condition. This belief is necessary, though not absolutely true. It has relation truth. Absolute happiness is timelessness and unawareness, but imperfect organisms cannot apprehend absolutes.

J.Fowles

kayıp kuşağın kayıpları.

ben artık kayıp değilim, çünkü aramayı bıraktım.

did someone say fetish?

to quote morrissey

i entered nothing and nothing entered me
'til you came with the key
and you did your best but
as i live and breathe
you have killed me
you have killed me
yes i walk around somehow
but you have killed me..

bazıları varolmak için yazar.

through the warmthest cord of care your love was sent to me, i'm not sure what to do with it or where to put it i'm so close to tears and so close to simply calling you up and simply suggesting we go to that hidden place.

Love is the saddest thing when it goes away.

tea in the sahara

I

He awoke, opened his eyes. The room meant very little to him; he was too deeply immersed in the non-being from which he had just come. If he had not the energy to ascertain his position in time and space, he also lacked the desire. He was somewhere, he had come back through vast regions from nowhere; there was the certitude of an infinite sadness at the core of his consciousness, but the sadness was reassuring, because it alone was familiar. He needed no further consolation. In utter comfort, utter relaxation he lay absolutely still for a while, and then sank back into one of the light momentary sleeps that occur after a long, profound one. Suddenly he opened his eyes again and looked at the watch on his wrist. It was purely a reflex action, for when he saw the time he was only confused. He sat up, gazed around the tawdry room, put his hand to his forehead, and sighing deeply, fell back onto the bed. But now he was awake; in another few seconds he knew where he was, he knew that the time was late afternoon, and that he had been sleeping since lunch. In the next room he could hear his wife stepping about in her mules on the smooth tile floor, and this sound now comforted him, since he had reached another level of consciousness where the mere certitude of being alive was not sufficient. But how difficult it was to accept the high, narrow room with its beamed ceiling, the huge apathetic designs stenciled in indifferent colors around the walls, the closed window of red and orange glass. He yawned: there was no air in the room. Later he would climb down from the high bed and fling the window open, and at that moment he would remember his dream. For although he could not recall a detail of it, he knew he had dreamed. On the other side of the window there would be air, the roofs, the town, the sea. The evening wind would cool his face as he stood looking, and at that moment the dream would be there. Now he only could lie as he was, breathing slowly, almost ready to fall asleep again, paralyzed in the airless room, not waiting for twilight but staying as he was until it should come.

waking up my mind was singing cheerfully, but oh so miserably:

so, the life i have made
may seem wrong to you
but i've never been surer
it's my life to ruin my own way

paid my visit.

for each man kills the thing he loves,
yet each man does not die.

if i roll, will you catch me?

Anlatmanın zamanı gelecek, şimdiden dinlemeye, izlemeye hazırlanmalısın. Bekliyor musun, öyleyse --hâlâ-- varım.

yes, i do.

could it be i like you?
it's so shameful of me i like you.

lost fans of the world, unite.

i miss you
but i haven't met you yet
so special
but it hasn't happened yet
you are gorgeous
but i haven't met you yet
i remember
but it hasn't happened yet

and if you believe in dreams
or what is more important
that a dream can come true
i will meet you

i know by now that you'll arrive
but by the time i stop waiting

i miss you

can you squeeze me into an empty page of your diary?

seni her gördüğümde ilk defa görmüş gibi oluyorum

Sonra sana rastlıyorum, sevgilim, anılarla, pişmanlıklarla yıpranmış göz kenarların kırışıklarla dolmuş, yüzün hala güzel. Kaldırımda, değercesine geçtim yanından, iki adım ötendeyim, ama sen herkese baktığın gibi baktın bana, gölgelerin ötesinde başka birini ararmış gibi. Konuşabilirdim, zamanı silebilirdim. Ama neye yarar? İstediğimi çoktan elde etmedim mi?

bu gece gel yarın istersen yine git
hatta unut ne varsa verdiğim al götür öyle git
eve kokun siner duvarlara sesin
hatta unut sen dün gece nerdeydin, kimle seviştin.

bugün gördüğüm en hoş insandan yoga dersi aldım, çoraplarımı çıkardım esnedim gerildim uyudum unuttum nefes aldım verdim varoldum bitti alkışlandım heyecanlandım.
her şey yerli yerinde.

and this time i am gonna keep it all to myself.